Behavior has a purpose.

When children misbehave there is usually a reason:

Intentional

• Gaining attention
• Using power to control
• Avoiding pressure and expectations by appearing to be inadequate
• Seeking revenge

Unintentional

• Undiagnosed issues
• Medical (Migraines, pain)
• Neurological (brain based issues - Fetal alcohol, ADHD, ODD)
• Nutritional (allergy or food sensitivity)
• Inexperience - not knowing behavior is not appreciated
• Experience - exhibiting behavior that child thinks is normal

Encourage Positive Attention Seeking

• Recognize and encourage achievements
• Place a premium on cooperation
• Create an environment that encourages creativity and experimentation
• Always let children know that failure is not fatal
• Don’t reward or encourage competition between siblings
• Expect the best in all situations. Shoot for excellence not perfection

Power Struggles - No one wins

• Decelerate the conflict by speaking quietly but firmly
• Don’t argue, simply state what is needed and remove yourself from the scene
• If child is old enough, or receptive enough, sit down and talk reasonably, pointing out simply what you expect
• With younger children who display powerful behavior by refusing to obey, simply give them a choice

Every child who complains, protests, criticizes, argues or just plain "lips off" is a victim of the same problem: discouragement. Completely discouraged children appear unintelligent, they are anything but that.