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Ten Ways to Survive as a Parent in a Crazy World without Going Crazy

by Claudia and Bart Fletcher

Claudia and Bart Fletcher are the parents of ten children through adoption.

  1. Never get sleep deprived. Make sure that you get the sleep you need even if it means napping or taking time off work to rest.
  2. Self-differentiate. You were normal when you started raising the kids and you still are. The issues are theirs not yours. Remind yourself of this often.
  3. Disengage. It is very easy to get sucked in to an argument or an emotional meltdown. Count to ten, give yourself a time out, or walk away for a few minutes.
  4. Write down your inner thoughts. Blog, journal, or send a letter to a friend. Sometimes writing makes experiences seem more funny than serious, and it helps us to see patterns of behavior.
  5. Invite another adult (other than your partner) to spend time with vou on a regular basis while you are parenting tough kids. Having another adult around can give perspective, give you someone to laugh with and help you to take things less seriously.
  6. Talk at least once a day either online, by phone, or in person with someone else who "gets it." Make sure another adoptive parent is there to bounce off ideas, share the ups and downs, and talk through situations that arise.
  7. Get as much information as you can. Study, learn, research. Surf the internet, join listservs or online support groups, and read books. The more knowledge you have about your children and their diagnosis and medications, the more you will be able to advocate for them and help them.
  8. Don't try to have rational arguments or debates with a child who is emotionally, developmentally or organically challenged. They won't get it, you'll waste your breath and become very frustrated, and it won't make a bit of difference in the long run.
  9. Look for one moment of joy each day. Hold on to that moment, memorize it, write it down. Often one moment of joy a day is enough.
  10. Find a way to see the humor in everything. Almost everything, if viewed from the right perspective. can be funny and seeing it as such can make all the difference.
　

Read Claudia's Blog at http://www.fletcherclan.blogspot.com