Skip to main content

10 Creative Anger Management Strategies



by Jodee Kulp

One family compares it to the properties and abilities of water. Anger can be good and do good things it can also destroy. The family discusses floods and storms and ice and snow and uses it to help their children with FASD understand emotions.

Another family manages Troll Behavior (scary, lying, stealing, cold voice, cold look) with a role play – Each week a The Keeper of the Purse (Mom) provides the Keeper of the Coins (child) with a large sheet of paper to create a 100 cent chart. The child creates a chart for her 100 cents and decorates a new chart every week. On days when Keeper of the Coins does not want the job, Keeper of the Purse does it. The goal is to safely keep all of the charted coins away from the Troll until the making of a new chart. The Keeper of the Coins keeps the coins by telling the truth and the Keeper of the Purse can use the rewind button to give Keeper of the Coins another chance if stuck in template mode. If the child tells on themselves for a behavior first they do not loose any coin because she came forward before the Keeper of the Purse found out. The money was saved from the troll and the Keeper of the Coins (child) acted responsibly. The Keeper of the Purse simple put a line through one of the coins for removal when troll behavior. For example if I go and ask if her room is tidy and her answer is yes and the reality it is a mess. Keeper of the purse puts a line through the coin.

STRESS MANAGEMENT

Emotions such as stress, sadness or fear may cause someone to feel angry. Tell a parent, teacher, or other trusted adult if you feel:

  • Irritable, grumpy, or in a bad mood more often than not.
  • Angry for days at a time.
  • Like you want to hurt yourself or someone else.

Introduction

Anger is a normal human emotion. It can be caused by anything from a friend’s annoying behavior to worries about personal problems or memories of a troubling life event.

When handled in a positive way, anger can help people stand up for themselves and fight injustices. On the other hand, anger can lead to violence and injury when not addressed positively. This fact sheet is meant to help teens understand and control anger.

What is anger?

Anger is an emotional state that can range from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Feelings of anger actually produce physical changes in the body such as increased heart rate, blood pressure, and adrenaline.

When does anger become a problem?

Laws, social norms, and just plain common sense tell us not to lash out physically or verbally every time something irritates us. Otherwise, we could hurt ourselves and others.

What are some ways to deal with anger?

Some people choose to ignore or bottle up anger, but this approach may actually cause more harm because the root problem is never addressed. Instead, try to manage anger so it can become a more positive emotion.

Here are some ideas:

Relax. Breathe deeply from your diaphragm (your belly, not your chest) and slowly repeat a calming word or phrase like "take it easy." Think of relaxing experiences, such as sitting on a beach or walking through a forest.

Think positively. Remind yourself that the world is not out to get you, but rather you’re just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life.

Problem-solve. Identify the specific problem that is causing the anger and approach it head-on––even if the problem does not have a quick solution.

Communicate with others. Angry people tend to jump to conclusions. Slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. At times, criticism may actually be useful to you.

Manage stress. Make sure to set aside personal time to deal with the daily stresses of school, activities, and family. Ideas include:

  • Listening to music
  • Writing in a journal
  • Exercising
  • Meditating
  • Talking about your feelings with someone you trust.

Change the scene. Maybe a change of environment would help reduce angry feelings. For example, if your friends are angry frequently and/or make you angry, consider making some new ones who may contribute more to your self-confidence and well-being.

Check out the Conflict Resolution Fact Sheet to learn more about how to work through conflicts and solve problems without turning to hurtful behavior or violence.

Helpful links

BAM! Guide to Getting Along

BAM! Body and Mind is an online destination for kids ages 9-13 that provides information they need for making healthy lifestyle choices. From the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

How Can I Deal With My Anger?

A fact sheet with more advice for teens about managing and expressing anger. Nemours Foundation

References

American Psychological Association. Controlling anger––before it controls you. [online]. 2005. [cited 2005 Oct 1].

Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. BAM! Guide to getting along. 2005. [cited 2005 Oct 1].

Nemours Foundation. How can I deal with my anger? 2005. [cited 2005 Oct 1].

Anger Management: A Ten-Step Program
  1. Accept that most things in the world are out of your control.
  2. Accept that it is your choice to get angry about those things.
  3. No one makes you angry.
  4. Life is unfair. Waste no energy lamenting or trying to change that fact.
  5. No one likes to be around an angry person. No one feels like helping an angry person.
  6. So why be angry? Maybe you really don't want your problems solved. Maybe
    7. you just want to complain and wail and gnash your teeth.
  7. Take stock of yourself. What do you want?
  8. You should smile more. Your face won't break.
  9. Anger is a weed; hate is the tree. -St. Augustine
  10. Anger makes a rich man hated and a poor man scorned. -Thomas Fuller

"In the depth of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." -Albert Camus

Compiled by David A. Willson